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Poems My Dog Wrote

Poems My Dog Wrote

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Author: Lee Sutherland

Lies Then and Now

  • On September 25, 2017May 8, 2023

All I know is that I was more willing to FAKE A MISCARRIAGE than go to a store and buy a box of tampons.

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Baby Fever: The Far Reaching Implications of Trump’s Nomination

  • On September 24, 2017May 8, 2023

I wholeheartedly and un-jokingly blame Trump for my (crushingly personal) baby-misadventure.

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Classy, Like Jackie O: An Exposé on Fingernail-Chewing

  • On September 24, 2017May 8, 2023

I’ve been chewing my fingernails my whole life.

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I am Not at Fault: the Coming Out, and Then Subsequent Retraction, of My Role as a Sexual Predator

  • On September 22, 2017May 8, 2023

Frankly, it never occurred to me that I could be accused of sexual harassment. The request of my employee to “move that box…AND TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!” was simply, awesomely, hilarious.

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Donation Drive! How My Hair Fucked Over Non-Profits

  • On September 17, 2017May 8, 2023

The only time the assistant director wants to talk to me is when he’s in his Hype Man mode, which means team building, which means wasting time.

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Sundays, When Shops are Closed and Asians Don’t Work: Conversations with My Family

  • On September 16, 2017May 8, 2023

Half-truths, sweeping dismissals and blanket assumptions: is this my family legacy?

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Genius Recipes and Drunken Chefs

  • On September 15, 2017May 8, 2023

Sometimes Michael and I drink at home.

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Work: Where Sexual Harassment is Safer Than Depression

  • On September 14, 2017May 8, 2023

Sexualizing women at work is fine, but talking about depression is not.

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Wrestling Big Pugs Who Leave Mighty Bruises: An Exposé on Pug Ownership

  • On September 13, 2017May 9, 2023

Learn about Atticus Pug’s origin story; why my dogs hope and pray for my downfall on a daily basis; and how part of the pug lifestyle is accepting that every tangible item in your world will henceforth represent your ownership of a pug.

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I Don’t Want to Take the Cheese. You Take the Fucking Cheese

  • On September 12, 2017May 8, 2023

I’m getting increasingly frustrated with all the stupidity of my job that just happens to be piling up all at once. It’s curious how heavy nothing can feel.

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