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Poems My Dog Wrote

Poems My Dog Wrote

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Category: But I digress: longer stories

Baby Fever: The Far Reaching Implications of Trump’s Nomination

  • On September 24, 2017May 8, 2023

I wholeheartedly and un-jokingly blame Trump for my (crushingly personal) baby-misadventure.

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Wrestling Big Pugs Who Leave Mighty Bruises: An Exposé on Pug Ownership

  • On September 13, 2017May 9, 2023

Learn about Atticus Pug’s origin story; why my dogs hope and pray for my downfall on a daily basis; and how part of the pug lifestyle is accepting that every tangible item in your world will henceforth represent your ownership of a pug.

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The Reluctant Camper, Final Third: Camping with The Gays

  • On September 9, 2017May 8, 2023

Tensions were running high. Soon I’d be asked to urinate outdoors in a campground leveled by a forest fire (was God’s message to stay home any clearer?).

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ESTABLISHING THE ARCHITECTURE OF THE MEDIUM: Douche bag says what?

  • On September 8, 2017May 8, 2023

Have you ever dropped a tab of acid while at work and thought you were in Richard Scarry’s Busytown? Yeah, me neither, but sometimes I think that’s the only way I’m going to survive until I can retire. (Includes bonus douche bag-to-human translation for common office jargon!)

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The Reluctant Camper, Part II: Tooling Around the Pacific Northwest

  • On September 8, 2017May 8, 2023

My camping origin story. Includes a flash-flood at Mammoth Caves in Kentucky which had TT threatening to put me on a plane back to Seattle, and me angry with TT for using hotdogs to encourage raccoons to cut our throats while we slept.

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The Reluctant Camper, Part I: My Inability to Differentiate Between Sports and Camping

  • On September 7, 2017May 9, 2023

I conflate two things I dislike–sports and camping–although only one of the two requires outdoor urination.

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